and instead I found this tall dude that looks like a ginger Bon Iver (please note that that pretty much checks off ~all~ my boxes) and his profile says the following:
I spend a lot of time thinking about: People I love. Pizza I love. Life. Lyrics. Synthesizers and which one to get. Cameras and which one to add to my family of cameras. Pictures to take with that camera. Music to make with that synth. The many faces and hairstyles of Nicolas Cage.
Me:

I thought he had me at “pizza he loves” but then it ended in Nic Cage and now I’m just like

I think what I’m trying to ask here is who’s playing a joke on me?
